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posted ago by LessAndLessIronic ago by LessAndLessIronic +302 / -18

No matter how bad things are, don't just jump out a window and waste your life and your potential.

First, you need to locate a vary fine piece of wire and tie it around your neck, and to your desk. Then, cover your hands in super glue and place them on the sides of your head. THEN jump. Aim for something soft.

When you land, this will create the illusion that you pulled your own head off. People will find this entertaining, and you can die knowing you will contribute more to the world in death than you ever did in life.

Comments (42)
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38
EtRpatriot 38 points ago +39 / -1

Jokes aside, no one should take their own life over something as frivolous as money.

38
Trilby 38 points ago +38 / -0

My mom used to say "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

17
SomeGuyOnTheInternet 17 points ago +17 / -0

Your mom is wise.

9
yurimodin 9 points ago +9 / -0

don't know if its still the case but in 1929 they jumped because having a stock broker license meant you could not file bankruptcy.

10
Trilby 10 points ago +10 / -0

It's a horrible way to die. I read an article about people who jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge and survived. They all reported that they moment they let go, their brains started screaming at them "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" All the way down, which feels like it takes forever.

3
ColdBrewCovfefe 3 points ago +3 / -0

Yup..the movie, "the bridge" good documentary.

2
Trilby 2 points ago +2 / -0

I didn't know about a documentary. Thanks, gonna look for that.

I once missed the ladder and fell feet first out of a loft bed, only about 6ft high-- it took so long to land and I kept saying in my head let me do that over!

6
LessAndLessIronic [S] 6 points ago +7 / -1

I always thought it was a myth that very many jumped at all.

1
ftdtfh21 1 point ago +1 / -0

If you are registered you have to pretty much ask compliance to take a bankruptcy for yourself, and from what I’ve heard they most likely won’t let you. We were told to not even sell a house that has underwater equity, can’t take deals on credit card debt, stuff like that. It gets placed on your U4 if you do that—which is a huge red flag to firms, the idea is if you can’t manage your own money how can you manage others

4
theDyingOfTheLight 4 points ago +4 / -0

Ya min wage will be 15$ an hour by 2025 for non federal employees. Get a job at wendys!

3
deleted 3 points ago +5 / -2
1
Afks 1 point ago +2 / -1

Don't hate the player; hate the game

17
Visceroth 17 points ago +17 / -0

That's horrible! I can't stop laughing at it!

13
Garrettlst 13 points ago +14 / -1

Lol! It’s funny how all these GME investors are holding on principal, not greed.

8
Tramsec 8 points ago +8 / -0

Any fund managers reading, I'm here for you. If you go broke and lose everything I will send you a $600 stimmy 10 months from now.

No need to thank me.

5
xeone 5 points ago +5 / -0

i mean atleast go for as many flips as possible if you are not going to take this mans fine advice!

5
2
SOTUisFUBAR 2 points ago +2 / -0

So what I see is he wants an even bigger mass revolution of people learning to code, writing viruses, and sending them WS, WH, etc etc. I think we need a new .win!

5
deleted 5 points ago +5 / -0
5
Auroraalpha 5 points ago +5 / -0

In Minecraft, of course!

5
Burmeister 5 points ago +5 / -0

And then pray to God and ask forgiveness for you sins. You soul can still be saved.

3
LessAndLessIronic [S] 3 points ago +4 / -1

The hedgies' souls maybe. I'm afraid that mine is pretty far gone.

7
keepcalmMAGAon 7 points ago +7 / -0

If you're still breathing, it's not too late, fren.

3
basedkekistani 3 points ago +3 / -0

DO A FLIP!

1
CorpseLivesMatter 1 point ago +1 / -0

Kek

3
Djinnofsorrow 3 points ago +3 / -0

Lmfao

3
h203h 3 points ago +3 / -0

these are the same hedgies who laugh at the pipeline workers who got laid off because of fraud 46 and some of those workers are depressed and some have committed suicide because of no work. these hedgies and corrupt politicians deserve the worst. they are traitors and tyrants

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deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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SomeGuyOnTheInternet 1 point ago +1 / -0

Hahaha, I like the cut of your jib!

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
1
Blazin 1 point ago +1 / -0

??????

1
Lazysleeper3 1 point ago +1 / -0

Do a back flip!

1
Deplorable_bastard 1 point ago +1 / -0

Lol

1
geckogreen 1 point ago +1 / -0

Why are conservatives getting in on the hate-the-rich? It seems kind of communist.

8
Joeyc1 8 points ago +8 / -0

we like rich who got rich by contributing to society, not by passing paper around and killing businesses for their own gain

0
Poopybuttboy 0 points ago +1 / -1

Watch the anti semitic rhetoric bud

1
Chuj 1 point ago +1 / -0

Narcissists do not commit suicide. All flaws are the fault of another

1
Comeandgetthem 1 point ago +1 / -0

They can always get jobs as solar panel technicians. Just ask Kerry he knows

0
Truman_Show 0 points ago +1 / -1

I think you guys don’t realize you’re adding money to the market. I mean that’s good for anyone inside the market long term.

I appreciate the help. -M

1
Comeandgetthem 1 point ago +1 / -0

Says the guy who has been active for a couple days just lurking around. Check the history.

1
Truman_Show 1 point ago +1 / -0

You ever think that maybe people on .win constantly change their usernames? People on the .win have to change usernames all the time. We also had to delete our usernames during the faux ANTIFA capitol riot